So here is what I learned from my family... do you recall that I accidentally called my boss a bad name? I was told after the incident be the people I work with that it means something along the lines of $#!?#% or &9$#&, or even as bad as #%7)!$. BUT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT TERRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD WORD MEANS???? (I know this thanks to my mama!)
Are you ready for this?
Cuticle.
Yes. Here in Mexico, it is a huge insult to call someone... a cuticle. GASP! Great. I am bringing that right back to the United States. Next time I get in an argument with someone, I might just whip it out: "You, you, you... CUTICLE! You don't even deserve to be manicured!" Good grief. There are some moments where I would just love to throw things at the cuticle (whoever he or she is) that invented Spanish. I think I can safely say that I am the first person in American history who risked her job by calling her boss a cuticle.
Showing posts with label embarassing tales. Show all posts
Showing posts with label embarassing tales. Show all posts
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
A Giant Starfish, A Broken Shoe and a Very Red Face
Well, much that is random and humiliating has transpired since Monday….
First off, I was walking on my way to work (nearly sleeping), when I suddenly looked up, and there in front of me stood a giant, fuzzy blue starfish. It was maybe six feet tall, had big googly eyes, and was dancing up and down in front of me.
“Hola,” I said shyly, and began to walk past the spastic starfish.
“Wait!” I heard someone call as I was walking away. The giant starfish was frolicking in pursuit of me with a small stick of bamboo planted in a shot-glass full of green jelly.
I am not sure it gets any more random than that.
In any case, the bamboo is now happily sitting on my window sill, soaking up the sun… and whatever is in that green jelly.
Also, I face-planted in the centro. I was wearing my new wedges, which are all the rage here, and I was walking down the sidewalk of the centro. One minute, I was upright, and the next minute, I was in the ground with a very red face and a very broken shoe. I spent about a half an hour hobbling to a shoe store where I bought a pair of flip flops.
Finally, and perhaps most embarrassing… I told off my boss without even knowing I did it. Now that takes skill. The people I work with are very young, and they happen to use a lot… gross terms. I have been pretty good about keeping up with the degree of crudeness associated with each particular word. Unfortunately, something fell through. We all tease each other a lot, so when my boss feigned being nerdy, I called him a loser. Only I didn’t call him a loser, I called him… something very bad. Very bad indeed. His jaw dropped. At first he thought it was funny, but then he seemed really offended. I spent the rest of the day buried in InDesign projects, hoping that no one would notice that my face never turned back to the normal color. John-Curtiss congratulated me, telling me that it takes most people 10 YEARS to tell off their bosses. I only needed 10 weeks!
First off, I was walking on my way to work (nearly sleeping), when I suddenly looked up, and there in front of me stood a giant, fuzzy blue starfish. It was maybe six feet tall, had big googly eyes, and was dancing up and down in front of me.
“Hola,” I said shyly, and began to walk past the spastic starfish.
“Wait!” I heard someone call as I was walking away. The giant starfish was frolicking in pursuit of me with a small stick of bamboo planted in a shot-glass full of green jelly.
I am not sure it gets any more random than that.
In any case, the bamboo is now happily sitting on my window sill, soaking up the sun… and whatever is in that green jelly.
Also, I face-planted in the centro. I was wearing my new wedges, which are all the rage here, and I was walking down the sidewalk of the centro. One minute, I was upright, and the next minute, I was in the ground with a very red face and a very broken shoe. I spent about a half an hour hobbling to a shoe store where I bought a pair of flip flops.
Finally, and perhaps most embarrassing… I told off my boss without even knowing I did it. Now that takes skill. The people I work with are very young, and they happen to use a lot… gross terms. I have been pretty good about keeping up with the degree of crudeness associated with each particular word. Unfortunately, something fell through. We all tease each other a lot, so when my boss feigned being nerdy, I called him a loser. Only I didn’t call him a loser, I called him… something very bad. Very bad indeed. His jaw dropped. At first he thought it was funny, but then he seemed really offended. I spent the rest of the day buried in InDesign projects, hoping that no one would notice that my face never turned back to the normal color. John-Curtiss congratulated me, telling me that it takes most people 10 YEARS to tell off their bosses. I only needed 10 weeks!
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