Carolina in Merida 2009: Cancun: Smut Capital of the World

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Cancun: Smut Capital of the World

Here is the scathing editorial that I wrote to go with that cartoon. I didn't end up sending it to my publisher because I am already expressing the same opinion in the form of a picture, so I thought it seemed redundant. Did I mention that I hate Cancun?

Here it is:

I laughed out loud when I got the email from Ohio University telling students to stay away from Mexico for spring break.
FINALLY! Someone is showing some sense! What you probably don't know is that I have been living in Mexico this quarter, doing an internship abroad. I am located in the Yucatan Peninsula. For those of you who don't speak Mexican Geography, I am four hours west of Cancun. (I can almost see the light of sudden understanding dawning in your eyes as you read this.) This is my second time abroad here.
Cancun is a dangerous, no good, very bad place filled with drugs, sex and alcohal. Oh, and did I mention the idiotic Americans who come for spring break, get naked and drunk and think it is okay to show their most shameful side to the rest of the world? It is like asking for trouble. People who do that are basically saying: 'Here, check me out running naked and wasted on the beach! I am such an easy target, it is ridiculous! Come kidnap me!' They make themselves extremely vulnerable to the dangers of being in a foreign country.
Kiddnapping, prostitution, prison, death. These are the things that will await you in Cancun if you go there for spring break and behave that way, and I am not even kidding. In Mayan, Cancun means 'Snake's Den.' Anyone surprised? It is very dangerous there ALWAYS, but now things are even worse because of the drug cartels. It would be wise to stay away... or if you have already bought your tickets, GET SOUTH! Go to places like Tulum and Playa del Carmen (about an hour away, but still on the Caribbean), where the dangers are not so potent. Cancun is a time bomb waiting to go off.
Also, just an afterthought: Cancun is not Mexico. If you have gone to Cancun... I am sorry, but you might as well have not gotten that cute little stamp on your passport, because you went to a warmer, more tropical version of Las Vegas.

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Yucatec Recipe of the Week

Gorditas de Nata (Sweet Bread)

1 kilo (2.2 lbs) white flour
1 Tbsp refined sugar
1/4 tsp baking powder
Grated rind of two limones (or 1 lemon)
5 eggs
1 cup nata (you can buy a liter of raw milk and boil it, taking off the nata [skin] to use in this recipe)

Put the flour, sugar, baking powder, and grated citrus rind on a clean surface (a cookie sheet or a clean table). Mix together well. Add the two eggs and the nata. Knead until it no longer sticks to your hands. If it continues to be sticky, add a bit more flour. Allow the dough to rest at room temperature for 20 minutes. Make small balls (about 2" in diameter), flour a cutting board or cookie sheet and roll out the balls with a rolling pin until they're about 1/2" thick. Cook them over low heat on a very lightly greased (with butter) griddle until they puff up, turning them once. These gorditas de nata should be light golden brown on both sides when they're done.
Eat while hot, they're best right off the griddle.

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Cochinita Pibil (Yucatec Pork Roast)

2 pounds pork butt roast with bone
2 tablespoons achiote paste
1/3 cup orange juice
2/3 cup fresh-squeezed lemon juice
2 habanero peppers, seeded and chopped
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon ground coriander
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
2 red onions, sliced into rings

Poke holes all over the pork with a fork. Rub achiote paste all over the pork, and set aside. In a large bowl, mix together the orange juice, lemon juice, and habanero peppers. Mix in the cumin, paprika, chili powder, coriander, salt and pepper. Place pork in the mixture, cover, and refrigerate overnight, turning two or three times. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Wrap the pork and marinade in aluminum foil or banana leaves that have been soaked in water for 30 minutes. Place into a casserole dish, and cover. Bake for about 2 hours, until the meat falls off the bone. The slower you cook it, the better it is. You could also bake it in a 200 degrees F (95 degrees C) oven for 4 or 5 hours, or in a slow cooker without the foil or leaves. While the pork is cooking, make the sauce. Bring the red wine vinegar to a boil in a small saucepan. Add onions, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer until tender. Pour sauce over pork, and serve with white rice and corn tortillas. Each person can make tacos or fajitas with the pork, the rice and the sauce.

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Sopa de Lima (Lime Soup)

1 (3 lb) chicken, cut up
2 (3/4 lb) chicken, cut up
2 quarts water
1 bunch parsley, tied
12 peppercorns
1 celery
1 large onion
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon thyme or Mexican oregano
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
1 medium onion
1 bell pepper
2 cups chopped tomatoes, peeled and seeded first
4 medium carrots
2 limes
3 teaspoons parsley or cilantro
salt and pepper
1 bag tortilla chips, baked
8 lime slices

In a large pot or dutch oven combine chicken pieces, water, parsley, pepercorns, celery, onion quarters, salt and thyme or oregano. Bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer and cook until chicken is tender-around 1 1/2 hours-skim fat. Remove from heat and remove chicken-cool and de-bone and skin. Strain and reserve broth (a few layers of wet cheesecloth would be fine). In the same pot heat the veg oil, add the onions and peppers and saute for 5 minutes or until tender. Add the tomatoes and carrots and cook for 5 more minutes. Add the reserved broth, squeeze in the lime juice and then throw in the lime halves. Stir in the parsley, season with salt and pepper and simmer for 45 minutes. Add the chicken and heat until the soup bubbles. Taste and adjust seasonings. Set out bowls-up to 8 and add 6-8 tortilla chips to them, ladle soup and add a slice of lime to each.

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Enchiladas Poblanos

4 Fresh white corn tortillas
3 Medium sized poblano peppers
1/4 Cup milk
4 Tbsp butter
2 Tbsp flour
1 Cup heavy cream
3/4 Cup grated cheddar cheese (at least, probably more)
1 Smallish white onion, chopped
1 Medium jalapeño
Salt and pepper to taste

Turn the oven to broil. Wash, dry, and then rub the poblanos with olive oil. Place them in a pan in the oven until they begin to blister and then turn black. When one side does this, turn them over to do the other. Remove them and let cool. They will be full of steam and very hot to begin with. Peel the skin off the peppers. Cut off the tops, open them up and scrape out the seeds and any non-green matter that adheres to the inside. Prepare one medium size jalapeño. Place the poblanos in a blender with the milk. Puree. Add the jalapeño and puree. Melt 4 tablespoons of butter in a small sauce pan and add 2 tablespoons of flour to thicken. Add the pureed pepper mixture to the butter & flour. Mix and then add the cream. Cook over low heat until thick and bubbly. Add salt to taste. Once the sauce is finished, it can be set aside until needed.

Place the tortillas between damp paper towels and microwave for about 1 minute. Be careful. They, too, will be steamy. Take an 8x8 inch pyrex plate, or other suitable oven dish, and spray with Pam. Take one tortilla and ladle some of the sauce across it. Add some of the onion and cheese. Fold and place in the dish. Repeat with the other tortillas. Pour the remainder of the sauce over the enchiladas and then add the remaining cheese and onion (if any). It will look like this, Heat in a 350º oven until the cheese is melted and the enchiladas are heated through. Serve with more warm tortillas and taco chips. Serves 2.

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Mama's Nameless Yummy Dessert Recipe

Cake:
2 eggs (both yolk and white)
6 egg yolks
4 tablespoons of flour
2 teaspoons of baking powder

Sauce:
2 cups water
2 cups sugar
2 cups orange juice

To make the cake, gently mix all ingredients. Grease a pot and pour the mix in, then cover it with foil. Heat a good amount of water in a larger pot until it is boiling, then place the smaller pot filled with mix inside. Cook for about 20 minutes, or until firm. Extract cake and put in a deep dish.For sauce, heat water and sugar over the stove. Boil until it thickens slightly. Let concoction cool then mix in orange juice and pour over the cake. Chill overnight!

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Poc Chuc

6 blade pork steaks 1/4 - 1/2 inch thick and 10 - 12 oz. each

Marinade:
16 ounce Sour Orange juice or 50% mix regular Orange juice/Lime
Juice
1 1/2 ounces achiote paste available at Mexican Stores
2 teaspoons kosher salt or to taste
1 teaspoon of dried oregano
1 teaspoon of dried thyme
1 teaspoon of black pepper

Salsa:
5 medium purple onions very thinly sliced
8 ounces white vinegar
1 bunch of cilantro chopped
salt and pepper to taste
OPTIONAL: habanero chile roasted and finely chopped (makes very
hot salsa).

Blend all marinade ingredients in blender or food processor.
Marinate pork at least 3 hours but no more than 8 hours.
Bring water to boil in deep saucepan. Add onions and blanch
for 1 minute. Drain and place in stainless steel bowl. Toss with
vinegar, cilantro, chile, salt and pepper. Grill pork steaks on
barbecue till just cooked through.

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PANCAKES (Marquesita Style)
Marquesitas are a carnival food here. It is basically a waffle cone type roll that contains cheese and some sort of sweet ingredient. The recipe for the marquesita batter is a giant secret to all who do not sell them, so here I give you the pancake version, which maintains the flavor :)

-pancakes (sweetened and with vanilla)
-waffle cones
-any of the following syrups: chocalate, caramel, nutella

Make pancakes as you normally would, though be sure that they are sweetened and contain some vanilla. Once cooked, crush a waffle cone on top of the pancake. Garnish with Edam cheese and put any of the above syrups on top to get that yummy marquesita flavor!

P.S: My favorite is the caramel... by far!!!

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Shredded Chicken Tostadas
(simple, but AMAZING flavor!)

1 roasted chicken
2 tomatoes
1 white onion
2 tbsp vegetable oil

Take the chicken and pull it apart into little pieces. Dice up tomato and onion and put it all into a saucepan with vegetable oil. Stir fry until browned.

Serve on tostadas. Put a layer of refried beans on the tostada and put the shredded chicken concoction on top. NOTE: if you like spicy, delicious with habañero sauce on top

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Black Refried Beans (Frijoles)

Ingredients

2 (32-ounce) cans black beans, rinsed and drained (or prepare dry beans as directed on the back of the bag)
2 cups water
3 tablespoons lard or vegetable oil
1 large onion, diced
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 tablespoon cumin
chili powder to taste
1/8 teaspoon pepper

Directions:
Puree 2 cans of black beans in 2 cups water in food processor. Heat the lard or other fat in a large saucepan over medium heat. Saute the onions with the salt and cumin until golden, about 10 minutes. Add the beans and continue cooking over medium heat, stirring frequently, until the liquid evaporates and the beans form a creamy mass that pulls away from the bottom and sides of the pan, about 15 minutes. Serve immediately.

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Huevos Montuleños
(Montuleño Eggs)

Take the following ingredients and pile them together in the order shown below!

parmesan cheese
1/2 cup tomato sauce
1 fried egg
1/2 black refried beans
1 tostada

iBUEN PROBECHO!
(Enjoy your meal!)

Carolina in Merida 2009

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Cancun: Smut Capital of the World

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